Constant Flux

Space Ninja!

This time around, I made MPD proud. I saw almost zero Anime, except for watching the cool bits of the Naruto Shippuden Movie, compliments of Otakumag.

After browsing around a bit, I met Adeeb. He runs the (secret) branch of Outer Limits in Cape Town. At great danger and expense, I got you, the faithful readers, another Constant Flux Exclusive! The (secret) Outer Limits Cape Town branch is located at “66 Strand Tower, Corner of Strand and Loop, Floor 5″. If you see Adeeb, tell him I say “Yo”.

Ever since I watched the neighborhood kids play “Cowboys & Indians” (I was a lonely kid), I’ve been wanting to roleplay. I even bought several SciFi gamebooks (D20 Modern, D20 Future, D20 Cyberscape, Shadowrun 4th Ed, Cyberpunk 203X), but nobody else is ever interested in playing SciFi games.

My plan to find SciFi roleplayers obviously wasn’t working, so I decided to just give in and play whatever I could register for. Even that was a mission. I usually strongly identify with the kind of people who attend cons like these. In this case however, the convention goers all seemed to be morning people. Yes, the bright and cheery kind. Somehow they all manage to arrive bright eyed and bushy tailed long before the event even OPENS. I don’t really get started until after midday. I simply can’t compete with that.

Still, I managed to be on time for four game sessions. First was a Cthulu game, To the Mountain with Russ Goldman. My character was forced to commit suicide because the fighter jock first lead us around in circles, then got everybody else killed, and as a grand finale he helped the Nazis win WWII. My first RPG ever, and I commit suicide. Massive failage. Many thanks to Vittorio Lombardi for demonstrating the proper technique for roleplaying: crack jokes like there’s no tomorrow.

Then we did The urge that rules with Naas Botha (the famous one, not the rugby player). The module was by an inexperienced writer, and it was a just a bit unbalanced. Most of it was puzzles, one of them unsolvable without GM intervention. My character was an overpowered undead stalker (who was somehow still less powerful than the strapping farm girl), but we encountered a total of two (count ‘em!) undead in the entire module. One was simply bonked on the head by the dwarf, and the other was squished (if you can believe it) by the strapping farm girl who turned into a giant red dragon (Oh, it all makes sense now). I felt useless since I didn’t get the chance to kill anything. Still, I had one awesome search roll (a 30, if you can imagine it) and for a moment my character was omniscient. He saw all. ALL! We also had a close encounter of the third kind moment with Naas’ musical tone puzzle. It was awesome.

The third module was Lead the Way, a Spycraft D20 module with Chris Visser as GM. This was by far the most fun module of the weekend. Not very surprising - Chris Visser won the best GM award, and Kyle (Col. Ironside) won second place for best roleplayer.

Now, historically speaking, there are three classic blunders. Number 1 is: Never fight a land war in Asia. Number 2 is: Don’t eat yellow snow. But Number 3 is: Never put the newbie in charge. It makes them mad with power.

Hoooo, boy. They made my character the Lieutenant. Then they let me creatively recite the Ranger Creed, which was adjusted during reading to bring it closer into line with reality. (Because we need intestinal fortitude not only to fight, but to survive army rations. HOO-WAH!)

I somewhat overplayed him. Instead of being the inexperienced, unsure character that he was supposed to be (except for the parachute jump: “HOO-WAH!” “HOO-WAH!” “HOO-WAH!” “HOO-WAH!” “HOO-WAH!” “Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiii”), he instead turned out to be a rough, gruff and flamboyantly LOUD commander who treats everybody like a ranger, and who’s not quite all there.

This included the scout troop we met: “I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PREPARED?!? YOU! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WEAR WHITE-TIGHTIES! TAKE ‘EM OFF. PUT THEM ON A STICK. THAT IS YOUR PEACE FLAG. WAVE IT!” “But sir, they’re only kids! We can’t have kids running around commando!” “WE’RE RANGERS! WE’RE BETTER THAN COMMANDOS! OH, VERY WELL. PUT THEM BACK ON. USE A SOCK OR SOMETHING.”, and the prisoners we took: “YOU! CAN YOU MAKE EXPLOSIVES?” “Ehhh, no but I can make fettucini…” “FANTASTIC! THIS INTESTINAL FORTITUDE CRAP IS GETTING ME DOWN.”, and who never gave up an excuse to take the Jaguar they found out for a spin: (To the medic) “YOU! YOU LOOK LIKE A DAREDEVIL. YOU’RE WITH ME. PUT ON THAT HAZMAT SUIT AND GET IN THE JAG. WE’RE CHECKING OUT THAT AIRFIELD. I’LL DRIVE!”.

We finished that one before all the other groups. It was simple really. We kept going for the frontal attack: “They’ll never expect it, Sir!” (they never did), and we usually threw Col. Ironside (Kyle) at whatever problem we had. He had a “SAW” machine gun, which caused some confusion at first: “WHAT? YOU HAVE A SAW?” “Yes Sir!” “IS IT AT LEAST A CHAINSAW?” “No Sir!” “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? CUT THE ENEMY OFF AT THE KNEES? ASK THEM NICELY TO STAND STILL WHILE YOU DO?” “No Sir, a SAW, a machine gun!” “OH. CARRY ON.”, and somehow he always did well on sneak rolls. He turned out to be this massive guy, with a massive gun, who moved like a shadow. Frankly, it was a little creepy.

At the climax of the module, PFC Foster, the least experienced character in the group (even less experienced than the Lieutenant), rolled a natural twenty, and simply capped the big boss without the least amount of fuss. We finally get to a working radio, and it turns out the world’s been nuked, and it’s our duty to restart civilization. The scouts were given guns and drafted into the Rangers: “(squeaky voice) Cool! Yes Sir!”, and after gathering supplies the Lt. took the Jag out for another spin, driving off into the sunset.

The final module was Witchcraft Intro with Hendrik De Ridder (Best GM at UPCON 2008), Tamara (Best Roleplayer at UPCON 2008), Kyle (Second Best Roleplayer), MPD (Second Best Roleplayer at UPCON 2008), and Rudi (member of The Best Roleplaying Team). I felt outclassed until I was handed my character sheet. I got an Navajo Indian street person with amnesia and who could talk to animals (especially bugs). I had an indecent amount of fun playing him. As an aside, you can listen to Tamara on 1485 AM and read some of her reviews on Audiophile SA.

To sum up, I played an Inca guy who believed he was dead and committed suicide after his master died, a fighter who didn’t actually fight, but was omniscient for a single perfect moment, a power-mad Lieutenant who drove around in a Jag, and an amnesiac mystical Navajo street person who talked to bugs. Seems like I’m getting typecast as the token “crazy guy”. I like it.

Special shout out to Dizzy (hope you get those telekinetic powers under control), Lulu (for the Space Ninja pictures), and Grant Charlton, owner of Outer Limits. Grant has been running ICON for the last 16 years, and has decided to retire. Grant, I salute you. And I promise I won’t take my clothes off.

To Grant! *Gustav chugs a milk stout*

Any omissions, submissions, inaccuracies, misinformations, disinformations and outright mistakes are entirely my own fault, and although I will legitimately imply that they are perfectly creative due to creative license at first, I will possibly correct them if you let me know.